Wanted:

Every morning I walk to work, I fear I’ll step outside and feel the burst of humidity and unbearable heat. December through February marks the cool(er), dry season in the Philippines. I’ve had the luxury of enjoying a nice breeze on my 10-minute commute, and hide away in the cool (actually, freezing) office, equipped with central air (AirCon as we call it here) during the warmest part of the day. March through June brings the hot, dry season. It’s about 85 degrees here now, so when I say hot, I mean hot. And I know it’s bad because even the Filipinos hide in the air conditioned malls then (so I’m told). So, I walked out this morning and it happened. I sweat the entire way to the office. I’m a baby. I hate uncomfortable temperature. Anyway, I was annoyed at that. Then it rained. I was even more annoyed at that. Needless to say, I had a pretty frustrating day. Which leads me to this…

I’ve been very thoughtful about not writing in my blog these past two weeks. It’s not because I want to keep anyone in the dark but because this transition has not at all been a carousel ride. I’ve already wanted to go home about 10 times and I’ve noted about 100 reasons why I hate living here and even more about why I love home. I whined to the people who love me regardless and I strategically vented to those who would never let me come home. Then it hit me when I was on my way to renew my visa.

I sat in the back of a taxi with my friend, unable to breathe, thanks to the pollution. We were stuck in traffic because, by the way, there are more people in Manila than you could EVER imagine and half of them are on the road. Then I looked to my right and saw a Wanted sign stuck to a pillar that held up the above-ground subway. On it was a man’s dirty, scruffy face and some writing I couldn’t make out. If I were to repeat the pattern of thoughts that developed since I moved here, I would have counted my lack of safety as a reason to escape from this place…but I didn’t. I immediately started thanking God in my head. I thanked Him that I have a place to go, a place that I call home, where I feel completely safe…and the list kept going on and on and on. Like this…

Thank You for safety. Thank You for a family. Thank You for friends. Thank you for security. Thank you for education. Thank You for a bed. Thank You for a house. Thank You for my mom. Thank You for my dad. Thank You for a future. Thank You for freedom. Thank You for cleanliness. Thank You for wealth. Thank You for water. Thank You for hope. Thank You for seasons. Thank You for safety. Thank You for a family. Thank You for friends. Thank you for security. Thank you for education. Thank You for a bed. Thank You for a house. Thank You for my mom. Thank You for my dad. Thank You for a future. Thank You for freedom. Thank You for cleanliness. Thank You for wealth. Thank You for water. Thank You for hope. Thank You for a job. Thank You for clean air. Thank You for love. Thank You for peace. Thank You for justice. Thank You for grass. Thank You for showers. Thank You for books. Thank You for direction. Thank You for medicine. Thank You for technology. Thank you for church. Thank You for challenges. Thank You for a job. Thank You for clean air. Thank You for love. Thank You for peace. Thank You for justice. Thank You for grass. Thank You for showers. Thank You for books. Thank You for direction. Thank You for medicine. Thank You for technology. Thank you for church. Thank You for challenges. Thank you that I know You. Thank You for Michael. Thank You for friends. Thank You for food. Thank You for protection. Thank You for breath. Thank You for today. Thank You….

I couldn’t stop! My friend spoke to me after a while and we entered into a conversation. I forgot about those few minutes with God in the taxi until we got back to the office and I realized that I was happy and enjoying my time.

There are things I don’t like about the Philippines, but this is very true: it’s clear that I was brought here for a reason. I’m reminded of that every time I look at one of our clients in the face and tell her she’s beautiful. This time is not about me, it’s about them and it’s about God. I’m being shaped in the midst of it and it’s amazing. It hurts. I’m annoyed. I’m sad. I’m uncomfortable. But in the times that I’m reminded of how thankful I am, I try and reflect on this verse that God spoke to me so clearly over the past year:

“I beseech you brethren, therefore, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:1-2

 Negative thoughts return — like today, when I hated the weather, but each experience (like the one in the taxi) makes me see this life a little bit differently, with a little more perspective…and I’m thankful for that too.

First Impressions

It’s Day 2 and although I spent most of yesterday in bed, suffering from jet lag (don’t be fooled, it hit me today too), I’ve been out enough to develop my first impressions of Manila and what people have told me of the barangays (neighborhoods or villages) around it – so, I guess that is a secondary impression? Anyway, here is what I’ve noticed:

Accommodations:

My apartment is small to say the least, about twice the size of my bedroom back home. I have a pretty large-sized bedroom in the States but certainly not a mega-master suite. Let’s just say that when shared with a few roommates, it is TIGHT. I say a few roommates because one, an intern at the office, has been the tenant of this apartment for the last year. She is leaving in a couple of weeks to help open another field office about an hour from here. She’s great. I feel very welcomed and she’s teaching me a lot about everyday life in Manila. When she leaves, the apartment will be mine, which means I can stop living out of a suitcase — very awesome. The other roommates are our not-so-welcomed roaches. Yes, I said it! Although I haven’t seen any since I’ve been here, my roommates’s decision to store our dishes in the refrigerator tells me that they aren’t promised to stay away. So, like I said, my roommate is leaving soon but the roaches (although not welcomed) I fear are here to stay. But it’s all part of the package I guess.

The City That Never Sleeps:

Folks at home, you thought you knew about the city that never sleeps, but that’s probably because you have not yet been to Manila. Living right in Metro Manila means car horns for 24 hours of the day and bumper-to-bumper traffic even at 1 in the morning. I actually don’t mind it. In fact, I kind of like it. I’ve always wanted to live in the city, I just never knew that the first time I’d do it would be halfway around the world!

I’ve also never seen a city so well equipped with as many forms of public transportation as this one! Not only do you have taxis, but jeeps (a vehicle that looks almost like one used for transporting sheep back home, except people are in it), buses (two kinds), an above-ground subway, and I’m forgetting some but I’m new, so bear with me.

And then there is the smell. I guess I should pluralize that. The heat brings not only horrific scents out of people, but restaurants and sewers as well — and they all mingle in the air to make a perfect combination of gag-reflex perfume. I may get used to it, but I can’t see it anytime soon.

Rain. Okay, so I knew coming to the Philippines that it was going to rain a lot, but I was not informed until I got here (while running in the rain) that it is recommended to get as little of it on me as possible. The rain water is polluted from the air, which is, like, super gross! I shrugged it off until the rain cleared up and my feet were sticky from polluted, dried rainwater. Needless to say, I showered immediately after I got home.

One last thing I have observed about living in Manila is people’s lack of concern for getting hit by a car. So far I’ve learned that successful driving in Manila depends on the loudness of the car horn and how quickly one can jut out into the intersection, which basically determines one’s right-of-way. First come, first served…or survival of the fittest, one or the other. As a result, it is hard for pedestrians to cross the street. To address this, they just start walking and fearlessly depend on the oncoming cars seeing them and stopping. I haven’t had any accidents yet. I’m not sure if drivers here just pay extra attention to the road or if I’m playing a hand with my luck.

Grocery Shopping 101:

I’ve lived on my own on two occasions, both for a year at a time. I thought I learned pretty well how to grocery-shop for myself. I mastered the bargain-search and developed a system for buying what I knew I’d eat, so as to not waste my money on stuff that would easily go bad in a short time. So when I entered the grocery store in Manila, I had no idea I’d leave so overwhelmed! A few things to note:

•  Most everything that is in a box or glass at home is most likely in a bag here. That includes spaghetti sauce, some “canned” fruit, and etc.
• If anything was once in a carton or plastic container, it’s most likely in a box in Manila. i.e. milk.
• Shampoo and conditioner are not shelved together (I learned this the hard way when I almost bought two shampoos).
• Don’t buy the yogurt. That section literally smelled like something died behind it.
• There is (hardly) no such thing as bagged produce. I looked for a good 15 minutes for baby carrots in a bag – silly me.
• Rice is EVERYWHERE.
• If you need bath towels, they’re in Aisle 1, right next to the glassware and sandals?

I went there mainly for broccoli, which I left without. In fact, I left with a random assortment of foods, mainly because I was way too overwhelmed by the experience and needed some time to reflect, plan, and return on another day.

Weather:

It’s HOT. Think about the hottest you’ve ever been, multiply that feeling by two and add  80% humidity. That is how I felt yesterday in the apartment. For once, I don’t think I’ll mind a lack of hot water in the shower…even though our shower actually has it’s very own hot water heater inside, something I wish I could take back with me to the States!

Food:

Maybe this will explain it:

Actually, food here is delicious. The only problem is that service is never really great. No one ever really eats together. Your food arrives pretty much after it’s done cooking, and no one’s is ever done at the same time. Yesterday (my first meal here) my food came out after the other interns had finished theirs…and it was totally normal for the restaurant. Not to us, though. The Legal Fellow followed up with staff and requested my meal be taken off the bill. Twice. After all, we fight against injustice. That’s what we do here:)

By the way, food is way cheaper here…a plus!

Finally, the scenery is beautiful. I can see mountains and water from my balcony and I have heard enough about seeing the sites that I probably could plan half of my weekend trips already! I’m having a hard time with missing home. I’m learning and liking it but it’s still hard to adjust. Please pray that God would give me peace about my life here and that He would give me purpose for every day.

Salamat!